What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, correct? However, a little bit of the Vegas story always leaks out. Maybe an exaggeration or maybe a shrug...something about Vegas always gets out. Of course, everyone has their own expectations about Vegas. Lots and lots of alcohol, strippers, gambling, spontaneous weddings, and all-nighters usually come to mind when I think of Las Vegas.
That’s not quite what happened during my stay, but I did see many, many things, and I did meet a lot of very random people. I think the best word to describe Vegas is random. Because above all things Vegas is random. The people are random, the places are random, the restaurants are random, the hotels are outrageously random. You cannot predict what’s going to happen to you when you step out of your hotel room. All bet’s are off; no predictions can be made. Another thing about Vegas is that you always end up in random places. You might set off for one direction and end up in a completely different one.
I am now going to break the number 1 rule in Las Vegas, and I am going to tell you exactly (well maybe not completely, but we’ll see) what happened to me in sin city.
Here goes, and don’t judge me on the following post. This was a completely different world for me. I was out of my element. I felt like a guppy thrown into a shark-infested ocean. The trick is to learn to swim and to swim quick.
Pre adventure, we wander around MGM and discover the most hilarious asian lady playing blackjack. She bangs the table every time she loses, wins, or ties with the dealer. If she wins, she does a dance and starts singing oldies songs. She looks at me and tells me that I need to wish her better luck. She loses. She grabs her bag and throws 2 grand on the table, and tells the dealer to keep going. She loses again and throws another 2 grand on the table. Clearly my presence is not helping her at all, so I leave and decide to stare at the lions lying around like the lazy beasts that they are while a trainer jumps in and feeds them. Heck, if I would go and stick food down a lion’s throat, for all I know, he might decide he wants to eat me and put me down his throat.
We decide to go clean up and get ready for our night out because Vegas is a night town. You can go out during the day, but the night is when all the action happens, but first things first, we all need to look semi swanky to go out in this outrageous town.
- Mandalay Place at Mandalay Bay Hotel
Now gussied up, we begin our night by first filling our stomachs. Burger Bar by Chef Hubert Keller seems like a tasty choice. The house favorite is a buffalo burger with spinach, grilled onions, and cheese on a ciabatta. So I decide to try this $20 burger and see how it goes. I’ve never paid $20 for a burger in my entire life. I’ve paid it for a steak, for a salmon, but never for a burger, but why not it’s Las Vegas. The sides range from skinny fires, sweet potato fries, zucchini fries, to onion rings. The zucchini fries are my personal favorite with their zangy center and crispy outside. The buffalo burger is very tender and literally almost melts in my mouth, the spinach and the ciabatta are a nice combination, and we all swap our plates to try everyone’s different burger combos. Now that we are relatively full, we decide to attempt the Vegas Nightlife.
- Bellagio Hotel
You cannot visit Las Vegas without going to the Bellagio and checking out their water show. It’s absolutely spectacular. The water shoots up and sways from side to side in rhythm to the song that’s playing throughout the air. yes, it’s water shooting up and down, but it’s downright gorgeous. I loved every second of it. Part of me wanted to sit and watch it over and over again, but there’s too much to do in Vegas. You cannot just sit and watch water in Vegas, you have to go and explore Vegas. So here goes.
- Hard Rock Hotel and Casino
I decided that since I was in Vegas, I had to at least play cards...just a little bit. I play all the time at home, so why not play for real. It’s part of the growing up experience, right? You go, you play a little, you learn a little, you lose a lot. Hard Rock is Jennifer’s favorite casino, so we decide to lose our money there. I coined it as the casino for the “cool people” because the clientele here is definitely different from the clientele from the previous places. Everyone is dressed very sleek. The men are in suits and the ladies are in form fitting dressings. The first thing, I see when I walk in the giant doors is a go-go dancer on top of a poker table. Yes, that was a first for me. I usually don’t frequent places with go-go dancers, so I was a tad shocked at first, but like I said earlier, it’s Vegas, so you have to learn and adjust quickly, or you will get run over by the person behind you. I continue walking around the casino as if a go-go dancer is a part of my everyday life and Jennifer and I pick a table where we are going to play blackjack and everyone else is going to watch since they don’t know how nor desire to play. I decided how much I was willing to lose before I even sat down at the table instead of sitting down, starting, and ending up losing who knows how much. We get our chips and the game begins. The guy on the far end of the table is doing really well and has actually won quite a bit. He clearly knows what he’s doing and is actually playing two different hands. I whisper to the dealer that it is my first time ever doing this and she smiles and tells me not to worry that she will help me out.
I win my first hand.
An outrageous prideful feeling rushes through my body. I mean seriously, there is something very satisfying about winning a hand and watching the chips that you won being put in your pile. You crave more instantly. I lose, I win, I lose, I win, I win, I lose, lose, lose, lose,lose. Yeah, I definitely starting losing more than I was winning, but I didn’t care. I simply loved being there. I loved tapping the table when I wanted the dealer to hit me with another card, I loved throwing my chips down for a bet, and I especially loved when I won a few chips. I quickly understood why it was so addicting. You really don’t won’t to stop once you start. But of course, I had to stop because I ran out of chips. A large part of me wanted to throw more money down, get more chips, and keep playing, but I knew better. I knew I had to walk away now because we were done yet.
- Cab
Cabs drivers are crazy. Literally. They have outrageous personalities, outrageous comments, and outrageous reasons for being in Vegas. A guy from New Orleans picks us up and starts speaking in such a deep voice and saying such random things that Katelin and I burst out laughing in the back seat. He gives everyone weird looks and gives very weird reasons for living in Vegas. I’m very happy when we pay him and depart. Our next cab drivers tells us about people throwing up in his cab and having a hazmat team coming out and cleaning it up. We pick his brain for stories of his most random encounters and he tells of the most outrageous things his customers have done. Another cab driver complains of his ex wife causing him to move out here, and how he cannot stand his current wife’s family. Cabs are too small. Next time we are getting a limo with a privacy window...we don’t need a conversation with anymore crazy people.
- Nine Fine Irishmen - New York, New York Casino
This is a true authentic irish pub complete with a live Irish band and tap dancers. The interior takes guests over to Ireland despite the fact they are in a hotel that is a replica of New York City. The place is jammed pack with people, dancing and singing along to the Irish band. Mom and Jean find a table in the back corner and make themselves comfortable. Katelin, Jennifer and I decide to socialize. We meet a very nice and very sane young gentleman from France who is over here visiting his sister. We have a lovely conversation with him or at least attempt to above the raucous of the crowd around us. We actually are quite close to the stage and the little irish dancer is only three feet away from me, so it is amazing that we can hear him say anything at all. Katelin goes off to find someone else so talk to while I go check on my mom. That’s of course when all the craziness ensues. An irishman with a spiked jet black mohawk and piercings all over his face and ears has found my two elderlies and is chatting them up. I walk up and smile and try to figure out what is going on. He looks at me and with dread I realize he has formed an attachment.
Oh dear God.
He begins telling me how beautiful I am. How nice I am. How he wants to be my friend and who knows where everything could lead. Apparently he is a poet and beings trying to tell me of his poetry before I cut him off telling him I have to find my friends who I left with the French guy.
“The French! No! NO! You cannot go with a French Man! They are women!” - He bursts out.
I stare at him shocked and then quickly run away to find the sane people. Katelin has discovered 5 men visiting from Switzerland, and of course, our accents are adorable to them. I stand and talk to them for a little bit before we are interrupted by an elderly lady who might make the 4’11” mark (although it is debatable) who is dressed all in green. She darts and dances around better than any of the younger people in this pub. Immediately all conversation stops and cameras start flashing. To my horror, the crazy irish guy shows up beside me. “There you are, beautiful!” He exclaims.
Oh No! Not cool. I attempt to distract him by introducing him to the Swiss guys.
He turns to me, “They’re liars! They aren’t from Switzerland!”
I look at him as if he’s crazy.
Well...he is crazy.
“Beautiful, you don’t want to mess with them.”
No, more like I don’t want to mess with you, I think to myself. He continues on about his poetry and I nod as I watch the band who is way more interesting than this lunatic. The frenchman comes and says his goodbyes in the french style with two kisses on the cheek and leaves with his sister. Why can’t other people be as sane as that guy?
I go find mom and Jean who have moved to lovely outdoor table to get some fresh air. Anything to get away from the crazy mohawked irishman.
Jennifer and Katelin come out and join us, and the five of us are enjoying ourselves when next thing I know here comes you know who.
And this time he’s got all of his friends. Apparently they are an irish band too. Oh that’s just fabulous! They all want to sit and chat with us. The crazy guy who actually goes by the name of Adam wants to continue to recite his poetry, but I tell him in America no one can recite poetry to a lady unless they first recite it to their grandmother, and I point to Jean. He looks at me bewildered, and I not. The only way he can continue is if he first recites everything to Jean who I know doesn’t want to hear a word this crazy guy has to say. Finally, Jennifer steps in and tells him and all his soggy bottom boy look-a-likes to go away and leave us to enjoy our evening on the strip.
He looks at Jennifer and starts accusing her of hating him and then starts rattling off disputes between the English and the Irish. How the heck that came into the picture I have yet figured out. I mean what England has to do with him reciting poetry to me and Jennifer telling him to go away has yet to be determined. His friends tell him that he has to go now because he is getting too loud. He looks at me one final time and tells me that he thinks I’m beautiful and who knows where it could have lead. He gives me his name and tells me to look up his poetry. I sadly don’t make him any promises. He then looks at Jennifer and reminds her that she hates him.
She just shakes her head.
They disappear inside and we are finally left to ourselves. It’s now 2am, but the music is still going inside.
- The next morning in my hotel room.
I can only handle one night in Vegas. My personality requires order. Chaos is fun for certain moments. It’s entertaining when its needed, but in everyday living, I need the order and stability that Vegas lacks. I need sense, and I need reason. Vegas provides neither of these. So as I sit and reminisce over my outing in Vegas, the only word that can come to mind is random because Vegas is just a random place. And another about Vegas...what happens there is meant to stay there for a reason...
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